15 Things I've learnt since becoming a Mama

Monday, 18 December 2017






1. Breastfeeding or Bottle feeding no one gives a shit anyway!

2.Sometimes you will just cry and that could be in the middle of a sensory class to a woman you met only 2 weeks ago and see for an hour... it's cool she gets you.

3. Parent parking space rage! It's real people, that woman with the invisible toddler taking up the child space just because she can't be arsed to walk far to the shop is a real douchebag. Until you remember actually that was you last year! Still RAGE regardless of my previous actions!

4. Photographing every new hand gesture/expression/new outfit will become the norm. Your phone is no longer full of selfies. Oh and no one really cares about seeing the pics except you?! But let's show everyone anyway.

5.Going to the mum groups gives you first date nerves.

6.BUT.. once you have made some mum friends you will find them to be the kindest,warmest people you could meet. My faith in sisterhood is restored!

7. Night outs are rare and even when you go to let your hair down you remember that tomorrow you will be up at 5am with the twirly woos....*put's hair back up*

8. Every baby song now has a sign routine that for someone with complete left and right dyslexia has been challenging...

9.At the end of a long baby filled day all you want is to hop in the bath until you remember that there are a pile of shitty nappies stacked high next to the bathroom bin. Ahh well you bathe anyway, poo is the new odour to your life.

10. Having your nails done is a thing of the past with the volume of bottle washing that comes with these little people.

11. I will only have wooden toys. I will only have wooden toys. I will only have .... *looks round living room full of fantastic plastic crap* .... whatever makes them happy.

12. Milton and even better Milton Wipes... sterilising everything is just the norm and in wipe form I'm there.

13. On the subject of wipes...baby wipes! You will not only use them to wipe those peachy cheeks clean but I have been found taking off my make-up with them, quickly dusting the window sills of the spare rooms with the pending arrival of the inlaws, oh and to wipe round my car dashboard (who has spare cash on maternity pay to get the car cleaned? Not me!).

14.The three C's Coffee,Cake and Chat don't think I've ever done/had either three of these in the quantity I do today! Ever!

15.You will never see the bottom of your laundry basket again! Sicking pooping machine!

And I've learnt all this in just over six months, think of what the next 18 years will bring. It's been a journey and hey it's only just begun...


1 comment on "15 Things I've learnt since becoming a Mama"
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